Quality questioning - how to understand what is really being said and solving problems through questioning

Most teachers waste their time by asking questions which are intended to discover what a pupil does not know, whereas the true art of questioning has for its purpose to discover what the pupil knows or is capable of knowing.

- Albert Einstein

There’s a lovely story by Bill 'Swampy' Marsh from his Great Australian Droving Stories. Swampy is 81 years young and spent his life droving. One of his gems is when he talks about his education.

"I mightn’t have had the best educations but I was bush smart. See, you learn a lot in the bush. You learn to watch, you learn to listen and you don’t miss a thing." Swampy knew the best coaching tip I have which is to watch and listen.

Ask a question, then watch and listen. The person you are talking with will always communicate their response, verbally or non-verbally.

Questions open up the person's model of the world. You cannot not respond to a question. Even if the answer is 'I don’t know' you have had to examine your experiences to respond with that answer.

Questions are like the torch you hold in the darkened room – they shine the spotlight onto different aspects of who you are. A good question will illuminate different aspects or even open up new areas for you to explore.

Often people are looking for answers in areas they are familiar with; trying the same things over and over to change something. One definition of insanity is 'doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result'.

When you ask a good question you give the other person an opportunity to search through their experiences and find answers they didn't even know they had. Answers don’t lie in the place you're familiar with otherwise you'd already have found them.

As a coach I ask questions to shine that torch and light up places for the other person to explore.

So - what questions should you ask? Any question is usually a good question. Questions that I use constantly are:

Where are you presently?

This question is useful to set the benchmark for where the client is at, at this present time. It gives them an opportunity to reflect on their values, strengths and weaknesses and their accomplishments. Often people don't focus on the present moment; they are busy focusing on the past or the future that they haven't actually identified or clarified where they are.

Where do you want to get to?

Unless the client knows where they want to get to, how can they set the intention to get there? It would be like arriving by plane from another city, getting into a taxi and when asked 'where to?' say 'well I don't want to go to the City, and I don't want to go into the country'! How will the taxi driver know where to take you with directions like this?

Knowing where someone wants to get to is half the effort in achieving it. Making people articulate this also clarifies for them what it is (or even possibly, what it isn't) that they want to achieve.

What is your purpose for achieving that?

A 'for what purpose' type question creates a future focus for the client or the person you are asking. Identifying the real purpose for achieving something also strengthens their ability to achieve it. Asked artfully, this question can also show the gaps in a person's reasoning. They may actually discover that what they thought they always wanted isn't something they really want after all.

What prevents you from reaching that?

People want things all the time. Which doesn't mean that they always get what they want. So why don't they? What is preventing them? Maybe they don't have the resources or skills to achieve it yet. Maybe they haven't put in enough effort. Whatever it is, articulating those things that are preventing them for reaching their outcomes creates an opportunity to identify the steps needed to overcome them.

Once you've asked a question zip your mouth and then watch and listen.

No more excuses!

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Maree Burgess is the owner of Internal Influence, and creator of the Influence Your Mindset Program, a program specifically created for individuals and groups to effect the changes they want internally so they can achieve their desired results and outcomes. Visit http://www.internalinfluence.com.au to learn how to influence your mindset for change.